Friend Matters

We got good news on Friday in that two of our embryos survived to freezing. This means that if we do not succeed this month, we can do a FET (frozen embryo transfer) next month. This procedure would be much easier on my body since I won't have to do injectible hormones, etc. If I am pregnant now, we can save them to use in the future if needed.  But either way, I feel very lucky to have these two backups. Some couples have nothing left to freeze.

I got the call about our little frozen embies while at lunch with my bestie Allison. Although these last two years were rough, they resulted in the unexpected gift of certainty in my friendships.  It is true that a real friend is hard to find.  

Differentiating a true friend from a good acquaintence is difficult, and almost impossible when times are good.  There was a time when I had many "best friends."  However, I have come to discover that many of these people were merely good acquaintences, while a few even turned out to be completely fake.  This realization was difficult for me but it ultimately came down to this: I had not been honest with myself in my appraisal of some of my relationships.  This resulted in hurt feelings, disappointments, and ultimately, enlightenment. I realized that these friends, or good acquaintences, would never live up to the conduct I expected from best friends.  And, I'm ok with that.  It doesn't make them bad people, and it doesn't mean I'm unworthy.  It's just the truth.

I have also come to realize that you really are lucky to have one true friend in this world.  The type that would walk through fire with you.  The type that loves you unconditionally for the person they know you are, even if your conduct falls short of this standard on occasion.  The type that sticks by you in thick and thin, runs in when the world runs out, etc. etc. "When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." ~Henri Nouwen.  

After the weeding out process of the last two years, I am happy to say that I am certain I have a few very close, very true friends.  And Allison is definately one of them.

Anyway, we sat there talking about my procedures and issues surrounding frozen embryos.  Allison was curious about the process and asked many questions.  We talked about the ethical/moral questions presented in the destruction of the embryos.  We talked about the legal questions of ownership/custody.  It was a very stimulating and intelligent conversation.  That was until...

"Can they get freezer burn?"


I busted out laughing so hard at her question I almost peed my pants right there in the restaurant!  Freezer Burn!?!


These are the moments friendships are made of.  A real friend throws it out there with knowledge that the other will totally get it, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.




I <3 you girls.