The procedure was awkward, and damn if those big momma stirrups weren't involved again. Only this time, I was not sedated. I don't know if you have ever had the pleasure, but they make the regular pap smear stirrups look demure. They pull your legs up almost to your stomach, and there is a small dip where your butt goes. Let me tell you, any modesty you have left vanishes fast while you are strapped into those things.
It was really difficult to stay calm and relaxed during the transfer. As if my position weren't bad enough, I'm really not very good about the whole thing. Ask my good friends, I used to come close to passing out during a run of the mill pap smear. No more, of course. A burning desire to conceive plus repeated poking and prodding for the purpose of diagnosis has dulled my fears. But, this was different than the various tests and procedures I went through before. There was so much riding on it!
I took the Xanax this morning like recommended, but I believe I could have taken a whole bottle of it and still have been tense. With every pinch or pressure, instinctively I tensed up (more specifically, my butt tensed up). Then crucial moment came. Doc advised that it was imperative that I stay still and not tense. You see, when they operated on Friday, they measured my uterus to determine the best placement for the embryos. My slightest movement would throw the entire thing off. Talk about pressure!
Tom held my hand tight and maintained steady eye contact with me. He repeated "stay still, stay still, its almost over" in a calming reassuring voice. With the other hand he rubbed my head. I could see in his eyes that he was just as, if not more, nervous than me. But looking at him reminded me why we were doing this and why I long for a family so badly. And, it was because of him that I was finally able to stay still and "relaxed" for the actual implantation. The Doc placed them exactly where he had planned.
Afterward, I was taken back to recovery where I had to remain for approximately 30 minutes.
We texted friends and family and Tom charmed the nursing staff as usual. They gave me my next report date, February 4 for a blood test, and sent us on our way.
As I advised in my last post, Tom concocted a cot for me to lie on for our trip home. As you can see, complete with the dog bed (LOL) and rolled up sleeping bags to elevate my hips. Seriously, I wish I had a picture of me actually lying back there! It was priceless.
So, now, here I am on bed rest for 3 days. I have acupuncture appointments on Wednesday and Friday. Since the embryo will implant approximately 3-4 days after transfer, I figure these are good times to get my juices flowing. Then, the waiting for next Friday. This is what I dread the most.
Tom is being awesome as usual. I just have to sneak when I need to go to the restroom because he gets all out of joint. He even cooked dinner tonight! A minute ago he put his head up to my abdomen and whispered "stick babies stick." This made me laugh. Meanwhile, my mother can't hardly contain her excitement. Our doorbell rang around 9:30 last night and mom ran into the room holding print-outs of cribs and decor for the nursery. She brought over several bags full of fruits and veggies today. (not that I will deny doing my fair share of roaming the internet for baby-loot).
I have a wonderful family, unbelievable friends, and a ready-made support network for these babies. All we need now is for them to stick! Stick Stick Stick!
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