Super-bellies and other mythical creatures

Sure, I can smell what my neighbor's cooking for dinner.  And, yes, my body is blooming into a bona-fide all-inclusive baby hotel.  But, I am no superhero.  Thus, every once in a while, I'll admit that I need a nap, or a snack, or a few seconds to catch my breath after walking up stairs.  Since when did women have to become superheroes to survive pregnancy and all its trappings?   And finally, where can I turn in my cape?

This morning I rested comfortably in bed reading a fascinating book called "Fetal Origins:  How the First Nine Months Shape Your Life."  The author, Annie Murphy Paul, has managed to explain the newest findings in "fetal origins" research in an extremely entertaining and thought provoking way.  The book explores how factors such as nutrition, intense, crisis-induced stress and chemical exposure in the prenatal environment are tied to children's post-birth physical health, intellectual development and emotional well-being. Only a true pregnant nerd could find comfort in reading a scientific study of prenatal issues.  But I digress...

Enter, Tom.  It was about 9:15 a.m. and he stopped by the house to grab something he had forgotten this morning before work.  I was instantly ashamed and embarrassed to be lallygagging around in bed on 9:15 a.m. on a Thursday.  Shouldn't I be at work, or cleaning, or grocery shopping, or something at least a bit productive?  Don't get me wrong, Tom said nothing to bring on this shame.  It was ALL me, just the built-in guilt factor that all of us women carry around these days.

So, when did it start?  When did women begin feeling guilty for the changes in their physical abilities upon pregnancy?  It was about the same time people were burning their bras.

Women's lib may have helped break that glass ceiling but it also did one very disastrous disservice to women:  It established unreachable and completely unreasonable expectations.  Not only are we told that we CAN have it all, but we are made to believe doing so should be easy.  Now-a-days, we are taught that our everyday routines, including work and stressful activities, should stay exactly the same regardless of our maternal situation.

It's a load of crap, really.

100 years ago pregnant women in the United States were considered much more valuable and, thus treated much more so, than we are today.  They were revered and coddled in a way that recognized the absolutely miraculous thing happening within their bodies.  Of course, this kid-glove treatment was not for the purpose of protecting the women.  Instead, it was necessitated by men who felt that their own worth was best evidenced by successful procreation.  Male arrogance, instead of female protection, was at the root of this custom.

As the years marched on, things changed, along with attitudes.  By the 60's and 70's, there was a full-blown revolution happening when it came to women's rights.  Our mothers and grandmothers did some really great things.  For instance, laws were passed protecting women from gender discrimination in hiring, promotions, and firing.  I likely owe much of my current career to these balsy broads.  Back then, women repeatitively urged that they were no different than men, and should not be treated so.

While I do believe this is generally true, this oft repeated battle cry fails to take into consideration one important difference between the sexes:  Childbearing.  Women and men are similar in many respects, but to my knowledge no physician has ever figured out how to successfully "knock up" our male counterparts.  This small, but REALLY BIG, forgotten detail has caused many a pregnant woman heartache and shame over the years.

The truth is, pregnancy does change things.  Aside from the obvious (boobs, belly, and butt), it changes our abilities on a more intricate level.  Preggos are frequently tired and hungry.  We tire out more easily, and for good reason.  I don't know, just creating life over here!!!  No biggie...

I am amazed that in these last 11 weeks, I have not only created a whole being, but have also made from scratch all his/her organs and bones.  I have built an in-house dining area for this little bugger as well as a warm and cuddly home.  I have done all this while also taking care of myself, my business, my home (not as vigorously as I could've), and everything else imaginable.  Now, I am certainly not saying I am anything special.  I am only doing what pregnant women throughout the centuries have done time and time again.  And, to be sure, it will only get harder the closer to October I get.     

So, think about the above to-do list and then add-in the exhaustion that comes with 20-30 pounds of extra weight, being kicked and prodded from the inside, a nagging urge to pee constantly, and then tell me pregnant women are no different!  It's only common sense.  Pregnant women are different.  And thus, it is only natural that our routines should and must change during this all-important time.

What got me thinking about this you ask?  Well, the book "Origins" uses cutting edge research to make the case that the 9 months spent "in utero" are not only important, but determinative of the baby's future.  There are studies on how the children of mothers who went through large-scale disasters while pregnant (9-11/Katrina) are more likely to develop schizophrenia.  Studies also show that the children of mothers who endured famine during their pregnancies are more likely to have issues with obesity and heart disease.  These are just a few of the examples she puts forth to make the case that our babies are not only growing, but also learning responses to life and stress while in utero. 

Of course, the circumstances mentioned above are extreme, and thus (pray to God) won't be applicable to most women.  Most of us go through our pregnancies without having to live through a natural or terrorist disaster.  But, hardly any of us get by without dealing with everyday stress from work and home.  Could this kind of stress also leave an impression on our unborn babies?

Her answer is yes.  There are studies showing differing behaviors of children whose mom's worked full-time in high demand jobs while pregnant, as opposed to mothers who cut back on their hours to get through the pregnancy.  Remarkably, the second group's children showed a significantly lower instance of behavioral and emotional issues during childhood.   Several other similar studies are discussed to support this theory.

The point is this:  Yes, we know that our physical actions make physical impressions upon the unborn child.  Too much alcohol can cause fetal alcohol syndrome, too much fish is bad, too.  But, isn't it just as likely that our emotional and stress-ridden reactions to life can be passed on as acceptable behavior during the 9 months before birth?  I mean, this whole little person is living inside, subject to every skipped heartbeat and blood pulse of the mother.   Duh.

So, armed with this knowledge I have decided to hand in my Superwoman cape (never really deserved one anyway).  I have no interest in being a Superwoman, Superbelly, or any other type of mythical creature. 

Instead, I am going to keep sleeping in when I have no court and working no more than 30 hours/week while it is at all possible.  I am not going to feel ashamed when I have to catch my breath doing the exactly same thing as the non-pregnant person next to me.  And I am going to try and teach my baby, through my reactions even now, that life really is a wonderful thing.  Even though some of us still wear bras.  :(

P.S.:  I am certain my wonderful momma is going to use this post against me and chastise me once again for moving a piece of furniture on my own the other day.  Hooah, momma.  Hooah.