My Security Blanket

"Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But here's the truth...the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is...everything."  Grey's Anatomy

We have finally reached the magical 12 week point of the pregnancy.  As such, the risk of miscarriage has supposedly decreased drastically.  This is wonderful news and we are so, so, happy to have finally gotten here.

We also consulted with an OB yesterday, having "graduated" from the fertility specialist.  We went to an OB recommended by the fertility doc, so yesterday was my and Tom's first meeting with him.  Fact is, I have been seeing specialists for so long that my original OB/gyn no longer delivers babies!!

In good news, we got to see baby Cypert and see his/her little heart  beat again.  This was my first tummy ultrasound, as all the others had been vaginal.  I must say, I had gotten accustomed to the clarity and quality of our baby pictures with the vaginal ultrasound, and kinda miss it.  But the important thing is that Baby Cypert seems to be doing well, and his/her due date is holding steady at October 14-16.  Even though the picture is not as clear, Baby Cypert is looking less like a gummi bear and more like an infant at this point  :)

  With all the good that comes with completing my fourth month of pregnancy, I must admit I am a little frightened.  You see, I have been on a strict regiment of progesterone supplements since beginning the fertility treatments.  I have been diagnosed with PCOS, which is a disorder caused by a substantial hormone deficiency.  Dangerously low levels of progesterone are the leading cause of miscarriage.   Without the progesterone supplements, it is pretty clear that I would not have conceived NOR would I have been able to sustain this pregnancy.   In other words, these extremely bothersome, yet magic suppositories have acted as my security blanket these past four months.


However, I am now being taken off the suppositories.  Docs say that once your reach 9-10 weeks of pregnancy, the placenta has taken over the role of producing progesterone so the supplements are no longer needed.

Don't get me wrong, I will not miss the disgusting gooey mess that they make, or the constant feeling that I may have peed my pants (TMI yes, but truth is not always pretty).  What I will miss is the comfort and security that they have given me.  Administering this medication twice a day assured me that the baby was in fact getting what he/she needed.  It has been established and documented that I cannot alone produce enough progesterone to sustain the pregnancy, so who is to say that the placenta (which I created) will do any better?   This change in my pregnancy routine is scary and one that I am not eager to make.

But, as Tom constantly reminds me, this is just one of the many times when I will worry from here on out.  Being a parent is an endless marathon of changing and adjusting, learning and re-learning, and trusting and verifying.   Unfortunately, there are no security blankets for parents. So, I guess this is one of many times that I will just have to trust the expert (verified by my good friend google) and take a leap. 


xoxo