Pink Elephant

Wow.

A couple days ago I opened my mail and found something I never thought I would see, but have dreamed of for years and years.  

It wasn't a Publisher's Clearing House Check for a million dollars. 
It wasn't a letter from a long lost friend.
And, it wasn't notice from the US Treasury waiving any and all future tax payments from my household (although this would be nice).


What was this miraculous piece of mail you ask?  It was an invitation to a baby shower, FOR ME AND LANA!


Of course, I knew it was coming.  A few of my very good friends have literally been planning and plotting such an event since February.  But, the emotion I felt  standing in the kitchen staring at it is the kind that will only be understood by my fertility-challenged sisters out there.  There is just something about seeing things "in print."  Black and white if you will.  The nature of ink not only makes something real, but also validates a whole lifetime of wants and wishes that at one time seemed SO out of reach.  The feeling was a mixture of shock, gratitude, and relief mixed with overwhelming happiness.


You see, I have personally hosted more baby showers than I can count on two hands.  And for every single one, I took great pains in picking an invitation that would be special and fitting for the lovely mommy-to-be.  One that she could place in her baby book with pride along side baby's first ultrasound and nursery pics.  I loved doing it for my dear friends, but there was a part of me that also felt overwhelmingly jealous.  I would catch myself picking out invitations for a baby shower of my own, with my personal taste and style, only to realize how silly such a notion really was.  As the years had marched on, I silently came to the conclusion that my name would never grace one of these pretty little blue or pink invitations except for on the "hosted by" line.  


As many baby showers as I have hosted, I have received invitations for at least ten more.  Same story.  I'd open it and smile, while pushing back and trying to ignore that all-to-familiar feeling of envy.  Secretly wishing my name was printed on the "honoring" line. 


It is unbelievable to me that I now have my own *pink* invitation to hang on the fridge.  It is truly the most wonderful surprise of a lifetime.


I must say, this little pink invitation came at precisely the right time.  These last few weeks have been more difficult as I have been pretty down because of the blood sugar thing.  In addition, they seem to drag on, therefore giving rise to all kinds of doubts and unpleasant thoughts.  Getting this invitation has reminded me not only what we have to look forward to, but also how VERY FAR we have come.


Thank you to Lori, Linda, Allison, Rena, and Ashton for making this hormonal, swollen, hungry, pregnant girl feel so very special.  I am so excited for this shower, and for the chance to celebrate this miracle with you and so many other loved ones.  <3