Prickly situation...

Oh, the things one will do to have a child.

Tom and I had an appointment with Dr. X yesterday afternoon to discuss our treatment plan following the start of the new year.

Next cycle, I am to begin a hormone injection called Follistim.  This is a man-made version of the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) which occurs (or supposed to occur) naturally in the body.   Follistim AQ is used to treat infertility in women who cannot ovulate.  It regulates ovulation and assists in the growth and development of eggs in a woman's ovaries.

This is the kicker:  The drug is delivered by injection directly into the...ABDOMEN.  Some of you are aware of my slightly odd and unreasonable fear of belly buttons.  I have hated them ever since I remember, and cannot stand anyone (including myself) getting near mine.  They are disgusting.  Even the thought of someone touching my bellybutton makes me nauseous.  This being the case, I was extremely nervous at the prospect of giving myself a shot in the stomach.  I have had nightmares about this.

Yesterday, we even practiced administering the injection on little boob-like flesh simulators.  After a few stabs into the fleshy boob thingy, the nurse gives me a syringe and tells me to try it in MY STOMACH.  I felt like sayin' "What u talkin' bout Willis?!?"  Instead, my eyes got extra wide and I began to stutter.  I SO was not prepared to go all in today.  I thought this was just a class...I figured I still had a couple of weeks until I would be forced to put myself through such an ordeal.  But the nurse continued to insist that I give myself a shot right there in front of her for practice.

I looked to my left at Tom.  The blood had rushed completely from his face and he looked as if he would faint at any moment.  No help there.  Then I looked across the table to my mother.  She had just removed her practice syringe from the boob-like thing.  It was bent at a forty-five degree angle.  Even less help.  This is when I realized it would be up to me.  So, feeling the weight of expectation coming from the nurse, I went for it. 

To my surprise, and utter delight, I didn't feel a thing.  The needle is super small and looks very similar to an epi-pen.  As I pushed it into my stomach, I expected to feel like I was being stabbed to death (or at the very least a slight sting).  Nope, nothing.  My relief was palpable.

So, I had to give Cindy the nurse credit.   After it was over she informed me that she made me try it then and there so I wouldn't spend the remaining couple of weeks worrying myself to death.  And she was right, I had already been dreading giving myself these shots nightly.  Now, I can focus all my energy on worrying about other things...like the cost; whether it will work; etc. etc.  I'm not sure this is exactly what Cindy would want me to do with the spare energy, but it can't be helped.  If I'm being honest that is exactly what I will do.  But, at least Cindy's little plan took one of the worries off that list. 

Thanks Cindy!