derRANGEd

My blood test results came back. Warning, I'm annoyed and intend to let off some steam.


Supposedly, all my hormone/glucose/etc levels are "within range." What the hell does that mean?!? When I asked this same question to the very chipper nurse assistant on the phone - silence. So, I had her fax me a copy of my exact levels (as if I know anything about medicine and could interpret them). BUT AH! I'll google this s#*t!
Looking at my levels and the "ranges" which were supposedly normal, I guess you could say that I am "within range" or "all over the range," or close to "derRANGEd." Just depends who is looking.

I wish I was a "glass full" type of gal. I'm not. It just seems everytime my glass is "half full" I spill the damn thing down my shirt and end up looking like an idiot. But I'm really trying to be positive. I'm really trying to remain calm. Zen, even. Hence, the acupuncture. But, as I played pin cushion in the acupuncurist's office today listening to the sound of waves crashing in the background, all I really wanted to do was call that annoyingly chipper nurse assistant back and scream "HAVE YOU READ MY F-ING CHART?! Do my symptoms LOOK like my s*(t is "within range?" Do I sound like I'm "within range?!?"


Lucky for her, I left my damn cell phone in the car.