Just lighten up...

Tom and I visited a new specialist on Tuesday.  For the first time, I sucked it up and went straight to the top -  We consulted with a fertility specialist / reproductive endocrinologist. 

After reviewing my numerous medical records, he was shocked that none of my other physicians had bothered to actually run hormone levels on my blood.  Seriously!?!  Isn't that the first thing they should have done? 

Aside from that bombshell, I am happy to report that I had a very positive experience with this particular specialist.  For the first time, I felt like he was actually listening to me and understood my need to seek the truth of my condition - rather than just treat the symptoms.

I am still awaiting the results from the tests they ran on my blood, and I have a few other tests scheduled, but Dr. X suspects I have polycystic ovarian syndrome.  Turns out it is the leading cause of infertility amongst women, yet no other doctor has ever mentioned it to me.  Ugh.  Typical.

If this is the problem, I will likely have to take several medications to prompt my body to do what it already should:  i.e. ovulate.  When I asked what steps I could personally take to help the cause, Dr. X's response in a nutshell was LIGHTEN UP:

(1)  Weight.  My weight has fluctuated wildly ever since I remember, depending on my mood and stress level.  It is not clear whether my condition causes weight gain or is exaggerated with such, but physicians agree shedding pounds assists them in treatment.  I lost a shit-ton of weight last year by running, but gained most (if not all) back due to stress and a preference for sitting on my ass and feeling sorry for myself.  We will have that NO MORE.  Anne Marie, if you are reading this blog, I am totally ready to start training for the mini.  Sorry I have been MIA lately, but I promise you I am totally committed.  It is the perfect thing to MAKE me exercise and help Dr. X treat my condition.  Even though I kinda want to hate you for it, you may just be my guardian angel.

(2) Stress.  Dr. X says I have to lighten up emotionally as well.  Stress is BAD BAD BAD for my condition and I inherited my Mamaw's habit of worrying.  One way I'm attempting to de-stress is this blog.  I was at first hesitant to share such a personal journey in cyber-space, but I have found it to be extremely cathartic.  It's amazing how many women have emailed and messaged me to express their appreciation for my honesty.   A couple weeks ago I would have sworn that I was the only one, but now I know that is not true.  I have received so many messages expressing support and empathy for what I am going through.  It is truly as it a weight has been lifted.  A secret that I have carried for years now has been exposed, and I thank God that I made the decision to do so.  I must thank my beautiful sister for inspiring me to be more willing and trusting of others.  She teaches me daily to appreciate beauty in all its forms.  Also, I thank God for my life partner and great love, Tom.  He has continuously encouraged me to embrace the highs and lows in life.  When I decided that I wanted to write this blog, I asked him if he would be ok with me exposing our personal life to the masses.  As usual, he was amazingly supportive and immediately jumped on board.  I couldn't ask for a better support system.

So, in closing, I plan on lightening up.  In  every way possible.  And hopefully Dr. X will get the support he needs on my end to fix me.  Either way, I have a feeling I will grow immensely.

Stay tuned for tales of my experience with acupuncture...