Wishing on butterflies

My desire to one day become a mother is due in large part to learning from the greatest two who ever walked the earth.

My own mother is amazing.   She is funny, hard-working, and selfless when it comes to her children.  I have seen her sacrifice her own wants and desires so that Laura and I could have ours.  I have witnessed the endless passion and energy she puts into her work.  And I have watched her make tough choices in the face of others' selfish criticism.  Most of my best qualities are a loving imitation of my mother.  And most of my mother's best qualities are a loving imitation of her mother.

Today is the three year anniversary of my Mamaw's passing.  The memory of her laughter and spirit can instantly bring a smile to my face.  She was so good.  Good to her core.  The kind of good we all want to be but find it impossible to actually accomplish.  But, by far, the most inspiring and vivid memory I carry of my grandmother is of her fierce loyalty to those she loved.  It was almost comical.  We used to joke that she could justify and excuse any imperfection or wrongdoing by a loved one ~ and I mean any!   But this, in my estimation, is her lasting legacy.  A legacy that my mother honors and keeps alive through her actions.  A legacy I also hope to honor throughout my life.

My mamaw loved butterflies.   She was rarely seen without a beautiful butterfly image reflected in her clothing or jewelry.   I'm sorry to say that I never really asked her why.  But, I suspect she associated the butterfly with beauty and transformation.  The ability to change and transform gracefully throughout life.

I keep a silk butterfly in my car to remind me of this great lady.  My mom, sister, and I miss her terribly.   But we three share a unique bond as we were all loved by and inspired by her.  And, oh, how I wish that she was still here to talk to.  Her loving advice would be invaluable during this process of healing and acceptance.
Even though I can't see or hear her, I do know her spirit is still here with my mother, sister, and I:  Still cheering us on and wishing sweetly that all of our dreams come true.

I hope that one day I can pass the lessons I have learned from these two inspiring women on to my own children.  Until that day comes, I will keep wishing on butterflies...