After one of my loyal readers called me out yesterday on my lack of posting recently, I decided I did indeed have something to say that may be worth reading. You see, I had generally stopped posting these last few weeks because my attitude is less than stellar at this point and I'm not sure anyone is interested in hearing me talk about being miserable. But, I have learned some new information that could prove useful to future preggo's out there wanting to know what to expect.
So, here it is. A list of little known/scarcely publicized events that occur during these last few weeks of pregnancy. As always, I intend to be frank and include information that will most likely gross you men out entirely. Get over it. After reading, I'm sure you can understand why no one else dares speak of them!!!!
(1) Soreness rising to the level of pain. Terrible, awful soreness that makes you feel like you were kicked continuously in your lady parts. There is a myth that the preggo waddle originates from the extra weight around the middle. Oh no, ladies, this is not the case. The waddle is due to the fact that your pelvic area is so sore you can scarcely close your legs. This endless pain makes it awkward to walk, and downright painful to turn over in bed. I really have no idea what causes this but have read that it could be due to the spreading of your hips or the position of the baby's head. Whichever it is, I'm fairly certain that it rivals than when a man is kicked in that area. Only difference is, with the preggos this pain begins around week 35/35 and does not go away until delivery.
(2) Leaking. And I'm not talking about from the breasts, although that can happen too. I'm talking about constantly leaking something from down there. I say something because again, I have no idea what it is. Could be urine, could be amniotic fluid. Doc said it's probably a little of both. I have no idea and I'm not sure I even want to know. All I do know is that you better plan on wearing some kind of maxi pad these last few weeks unless you are ok with walking around wet all day. It is absolutely disgusting.
(3) Drooling. I swear, I'm not making this up. I wake up nightly in a puddle of my own drool. I had never heard of this associated with pregnancy before. But thanks to my good friend google, I found out that this is one of those unexpected yet common things that happens late in the game. Due to the again increasing levels of hormones preparing your body for delivery, something happens to increase the amount of saliva we produce. This results in a wet pillow at night and dry mouth in the morning.
(4) Sleeping can be downright dangerous. Seriously. First, there is absolutely no way to be comfortable anymore. Preggos are only allowed to sleep on the side, and now even that sucks. Your belly is so big and weighted down with little precious that it sags and pulls to whatever side you lay on. But, the really dangerous part is if you are like me and change positions unknowingly while still asleep. These last few weeks I find that I will roll on my back while still asleep, I'm sure trying anything to get comfortable. However, by the time I am miserable enough to wake in this position, I am close to being smothered by this big cumbersome belly. And I mean it hurts.
(5) Swelling...of your NOSE! Ok, everybody knows that your hands and feet swell during this process. But, who knew that your damn nose would swell? I swear to you I am not making this up...my nose has doubled in width in the last month. Need proof?
Pregnancy nose:
Pre-pregnancy nose (taken last year with my good friend Steph):
All I can say is that my nose BETTER GO BACK TO NORMAL. Uggg.
(6) Family Drama. Everybody is excited and anxious for baby's arrival. Of course, the to-be parents, but then the extended family are as well. This can sometimes result in family drama if one is not careful. This is the first of many times (I imagine) that well-intentioned family members will second guess or find fault in your decisions regarding your child. In the end though, none of this is about them. It's not even us (the parents). It's about Lana. So, if you as a new mom want to set boundaries and visiting hours those first few weeks while everyone in the immediate household is adjusting, do it. No need to apologize for it. Those who can't understand initially will get over it. It is not personal, it is a choice to create as serene of an environment as is possible with a newborn baby. This is sage advice I was given by COUNTLESS friends who learned from experience (sometimes the hard way). The reason: there is no benefit to adding more stress or expectation to yourself during these first few weeks. The only way the baby is going to be happy and healthy is if mom and dad are happy and healthy. Emotionally and physically. Do whatever is necessary to ensure that this is the case. There are so many other things you will not be able to control when she arrives (her schedule, my success at breastfeeding, etc. etc.). Deciding to put her needs first is the one thing I can, and will.
(7) End-of-your-Rope Point. At some time, you will hit it. No matter how much you wanted this pregnancy or appreciate it, there will be a point in these last few weeks where you "JUST WANT THIS BABY OUT!!!" It's normal. It doesn't mean you are ungrateful. It doesn't make you a bad mom. Your body is literally working physically to expel this child from itself for a reason. He/she has grown mature enough to make it on the outside and has become too big/mature for you to support any longer. It makes sense that your emotional wants/wishes would go hand-in-hand with your physical wants/wishes. In other words, it's time for baby to be evicted. I, for one, gave this child her eviction notice this weekend. According to KY law, she had 7 days from Sunday to comply. When I have our last doctor's appointment this afternoon, the Doctor will be informed of this legal requirement and the consequences should she choose not to comply ;)
Yes, the list is scary. And adds insult to injury with all the other well-known things that happen during pregnancy. My friend Nikki summed it up when I jokingly commented "It's pregnancy's dirty little secret. No one told me either . . .but after she's hatched, you can give those knowing looks to expecting moms. ;)"
But take heart, because in the end it's all worth it. I haven't met one mom that thinks otherwise.
As I stated earlier, today is our last OB appointment. I think we will be scheduling an induction today since she seems to have decided to ignored my desperate pleas to vacate this week. For me, it can't come soon enough. Even more than my physical exhaustion with this pregnancy right now, I am just so ready to meet and kiss the little booger. I cannot wait.
xoxo
Next time you hear from me I will officially be un-pregnant...and a new mommy :)
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